So I guess what I have learned – or reminded myself of – after the recent series of post reflections is this:
If you are afraid that someone holds the entire truth about some topic (how to be a good partner, how to make money, how to have the right kind of spirituality, etc.) … then you have to let that go and dare to be wrong.
You have to dare to be wrong and dare to face the consequences of being wrong, like … not making money if you don’t follow somebody’s recipe.
That is actually better than trying to follow it and only doing so because you are afraid to be wrong if you don’t.
Or in other words: You are afraid you are not lovable, or ‘good enough’, if you don’t follow certain recipes for life and how to live it.
Even more, actually, than you are afraid of not getting the actual results. Like: You are more afraid of not feeling good enough than you are of actually failing in making money or finding the right religion.
If that really is the case … then you should go out there immediately and fail. And fail again. And dare to be wrong.
Until you feel okay with it.
And find some people – good, constructive people – who will support you in that process.
(Not the drinking buddies, please … )
Do that and then come back and try some of the recipes for the good life, the good spirituality, the good relationship, the good everything – if you think they still have merit.
But do it from a base of strength and self-confidence and above all: Self-love.
Otherwise it is worthless.
And you know why.
It is worthless because it is a more basic need to be loved than to be rich, or popular, or spiritual.
And none of these things can feel good, or even come to pass likely, if you do not start loving yourself first.
And that can only happen if you dare to be wrong and face the consequences of some choice which seems not be in in alignment with some authority whose love you crave. In replacement for your own love. And perhaps more so than any particular advice they are able to give on any particular need or topic …
So this is it again, then?
That same old, old lesson – that I have returned to countless of times in my life.
This is it?
Yes, it is.
But I believe it is a little better learned this time around.
It had better be.