People who have had terrible experiences are not looking at first for explanations of someone else’s belief in their innate metaphysical responsibility of the awful experiences that have befallen them, like rape or loss of a child or serious illness. They are looking for empathy.
That is not particularly difficult to understand, if you come from my world. What is difficult is showing empathy to the people who don’t understand it.
But leading by example should still work. It has to.