373. Time and Heart

But long story short here … maybe I can live with my webdesign business as it is and just do whatever I am most motivated for and most energized for and have the most time for from April … to earn more money. 

I don’t know what that could be, only that – as I have harped about many times before – it has to be something that makes earning income more automatic and passive. As much as possible. Otherwise it can’t scale. I can’t keep selling hours. And I won’t.

So product. Or content that can be monetized, e.g. via ads or affiliates.

Full circle there … 

And then on the side do some CSR or other, when I have the extra surplus. At least it would heighten my motivation to find that type of product or other asset that I am motivated to create.

If I can use that asset to give something to more than myself. That is always a good motivation for me.

It is a mess in my mind right now, but at least I can see some threads that I can bind together.

Right now, though, I will have to wait and let time and my heart delve on this and come up with more precise answers.

And meanwhile keep trying lots of options.

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324. Patterns

I’m learning that the hard way, all the time. I’m learning that there are no certainties. Only certain patterns. In business.

And one pattern is negotiation. And as I’ve said before: You’ve got to know your deal-breaker. Mine wasn’t reached this time, but it was close because I felt insulted. But you can’t get personal. You have to give it a try – the deal. Especially in my position.

Then you can always draw away, if it doesn’t work. The trick is, as with Big Photographer Client Who Has A Small P, when to draw away. When to throw in the towel. When to walk away.

That is something I can only get better at learning. Here may be a new chance.

Or a good deal.

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259. Whatever and Courage

So I suppose, after all that has gone before on this gig, I should feel bad that I did not slam the door, or had the courage change myself enough to slam that door earlier in our ‘cooperation’. I mean, I should feel humiliated, shouldn’t I?

But, honestly, I just feel kind of …’whatever’.

Perhaps that is a sign I already have the courage. It doesn’t matter that he acted first.

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232. Realizing Options

I already know his type (much like my former employer when I was in the health sector):

He is a man who deep down cares mostly if not exclusively about himself. You can give all sorts of reasons – my kid, my ability to make money with other clients, my health, etc.

He will try to make it seem like he cares and then he will make demands again, or shrug off any reasonable arguments from my side that he should not abuse my time. He has already done so on a number of occasions since February. So now I know what I am dealing with.

Including my own feelings, I guess. But that makes for a stronger ability to make choices in my favor.

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218. Half the Way

Not only was the lack of income getting to me, but also the sense that I wasn’t providing value – not using my skills and experience for any good for anyone. 

But I was. I wrote something and put it out. And some people will read it and benefit from it.

So that at least I can always do. And that is half the way getting there.

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