635. Jumping In

In terms of my Distant Mirrors project idea …

I would like to evolve my live-talk business, when I have enough time to invest, so it can replace more of my income from webdesign (and temp work). My dream is to have a YouTube channel or similar with thousands of subscribers who then fund me via donations and possibly a bit of merchandise sales.

I have, however, no clear offer for that channel which I feel confident enough about to start with. I was thinking about drawing and talking about what we can learn from historical persons, doing and recording live-talks, doing slide-shows as I do for my live-audiences or any combination thereof. But aside from the entertainment value and the pretty broad ‘let’s learn from Joan of Arc etc.’ I don’t feel I have a clear enough value proposition – yet. Part of the challenge is, of course, that if you are interested in history you might not be interested in the same part of history or the same persons that I am interested in.

My gut feel is that I should probably just go with broad entertainment value at first and do whatever the hell I like and “see who shows up” in the words of a marketing mentor I had a few years ago.

As much as I find it beneficial to implement ideas that are more concrete and use-oriented, in this case I have a feeling that it stifles me to make this project too much of a collection of problem-solving products, videos or otherwise – as I know most professional marketers in the online info-business like to recommend.

But there are huge YouTube channels out there on a wide scale of production values and with many followers and it certainly seems to me that their attraction, aside from the topic matter, is that “unique essence” and experience you mention as USP.

So … that’s likely where I will start, with whatever time I can scrape together to invest in it in the coming years and months.

I have the bitter experience that if I don’t start with something that gives me energy right away, then I usually stall. So I will just have to keep at it long enough to see if it can become a project that give other people energy as well.

I think so, but I don’t know. I have to jump into it to find out. Risk the investment.

Isn’t that what life is all about?

630. Magical Energy and Its Uses

Had a few hours for myself before noon one day, and felt strongly – despite Everything Else That Requires Attention – that I should focus on Hammer & Magic. Get that writing project up again and running.

If nothing else then for the sake of feeling some of the, well, magic in life. I have a tendency to push that away, and I don’t want to feed that tendency. It’ll be one of those things I regret when – sooner or later – I have to leave.

Since I did not have a lot of time, I started wanting to do a new chapter. But then I halted.

The characters felt like they had grown ‘cold’. I could not write about them.

I knew what had to be done. And now I had only an hour and a half left.

But I had to read all of the existing 79 pages, or as many as possible, once more. From the beginning.

Then, I knew from experience, the world would come alive to me again. And I would certainly be ‘warmed up’.

Unfortunately, my time would also be up. This time.

But I made the choice to read.

I was – and I am  gambling that that is the correct choice. That it is an infusion of that writing-energy that I need.

Especially to be able to find more time, where hitherto I thought there was none.

499. Worth Noting Again

I thought for a long time it would help me finish creative projects if I narrowed them down to just one, due to work and family time constraints.

Turns out I get more motivated by having about 3 projects that I can shift between (but not many more), like I am recording an album instead of just having to choose a single song.

It may take longer, in principle, to finish any one of these projects, yes – but now I feel more confident that I WILL actually finish one, because I realized that this worked for me. 

488. Cease

—it really feels like it gives me what I want right now to just do my best at making business full time as a webdesigner and then taking every possible moment of free time that I need this energy to do some of my creative projects.

Over years.

And when I have the energy. Or need it.

Instead of creating a struggle between my business and my creative life.

Like that one about setting goals that make you feel better now… 

That is a good one.

84. Keeping the Embers Alive

Then … at some point, give or take a baby’s upbringing and 1001 stressful workdays, there will be more order in the apartment again.

Or elsewhere. Or in my head. Whatever comes first …

Order enough so I feel better about sitting down somewhere and drawing for longer. In a suitable, good enough space. So it is actually physically possible to do it!

But the very first thing to do is to keep those embers in that space where they need to be always, no matter what:

Alive.