277. Transfer Wisdom

I wish I could explain it better than a mere decision, but there it is.

It is, however, a decision matured. It has matured for a long time and it has to do with a realization of the futility of trying to sell out your present to insure your happiness in the future, so to speak.

Just as profound as the realization I had in 2006 which cured me of the deep and devastating anxiety that had gotten me into hospital: If I could never get better there was no point in hating and berating myself for certain thought and other matters, only in trying to make as much good time as possible to enjoy – during the minutes and hours I was not suffering.

Deep realizations followed up by definitive, all-encompassing action.

So I guess I have explained it better now, right?

Perhaps. But have I explained it enough for someone else to realize what they have to do to copy it?

Probably not in most cases. Besides, it is a state of mind that comes about not as a result of reading but as a result of experiencing, for a long time. Then a desire for change is cultivated in the soul.

But if I can aid that change, however little, I shall be satisfied.

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276. Reminders

Whatever work I do in the future, to earn a living, as long as it is not too dreary or filled with a majority of people I don’t resonate with … it is certainly work that will have to include and be done for … other people.

Actively. Face to face.

Not from a distance. Not always, at least.

This was another reminder. But I will take it to heart.

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246. No Diversions

But in my experience we, the people, forget so often to ask them ourselves: What makes me really happy? What I do now? The way I do what I do now to get something better in the future? Or … ?

We forget. And run in all sorts of directions for peace, happiness and joy, even if we are so often missing them. Chasing wild geese … like that stressful drive up the career ladder or whatever it is that makes no sense to strive for to become happy in the future, if it is done in such a way or if it is for such a goal so as to make us miserable for a long time in the present.

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244. Drop By Drop

Perhaps it is smarter to do as I stated above and then try to create that situation now, which I want, and then expand it gradually as best I can – like a pool spilling over into the areas outside of the pool … or something.

Instead of pretending or imagining that I am in a desert thirsting and I have to try to reach a pool somewhere in the distance?

I have to imagine I have a small pool now and focusing on making that grow and spill over.

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208. Balance Between P’s

But more often than not, for my own life at least, I’ve found that I need to balance passion, purpose and profit – not try to force it into one place or activity. One thing I do is what I am most passionate about, work-wise. Another contains the most purpose. Another the most profit. Each contain a little bit of the other, but they are separate.

Will it change in the future? I want it to, honestly. But for now it seems like I have to strike a balance, and learn to strike it better every day. Like most other humans.

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115. But the Car Is Paid

I suppose that’s an interesting thought:

What if the key is here to learn to tolerate more of my clients’ complaints?

And do things in a pace that will keep me sane and then see if he actually puts his money where his mouth is?

And that place would be with someone who is cheaper, better, more reliable than me, about whom he has to complain so much to get an honest day’s work done, right?

Interesting thought. And perhaps a worthwhile thought for an entrepreneur.

Especially worthwhile if I can honestly say that I am doing my best and that 75 percent of the delays and problems come from my clients’ bad habits, bad planning, lack of knowledge, and lack of will to pay a realistic number of hours.

Maybe the truth is only 50 percent. But why should I take those 50 percent on my shoulders and stress to do better and better, more and more, for less and less pay? I think I can afford to err a little bit on the other side here.

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101. You Buy Me Things

I’ll experiment with my prices and some things I won’t do, some things I will. Other things I will regret doing for that price, and still other things I would like to repeat – like my historical talks:350 bucks for 2 hours of enjoyable work – let me have more of that!

But aside from food and shelter for ourselves and our son, I bloody won’t be constrained by having to chase a certain kind of client with a certain size of wallet, not because I’m more interested in them or a better match with my skills.

But because they are able to pay my rent for an apartment with three extra rooms I don’t use.

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